#afterbabybeauty

I know I show “after” pictures, and I know that when I take them I try to look my best. But, I see the flaws. We are all our hardest critics, right? I have so many “flaws” that I pick on myself for, I blame them on the fact I missed a workout, or I must have ate too much of something. I compare myself to women who have amazing and perfect bodies. Everyone is different, and not all women can have perfect stomachs after children. I am one of those. I got down to 17% body fat (pretty amazing for a female, and a record for me.) The moment they told me was bitter sweet. I was thrilled that the hard work paid off, 21 day fix changed my health. Then, I poked at my stomach and told the women, “really? 17%? Is it ALL in my stomach!?”

I have had two amazing children. My son was 8.5 pounds. I’m small…5’1” and petite. The German doctor couldn’t believe he was my son. I had a second C-section in Jan of 2011 and let it be my excuse for not trying. I finally changed my lifestyle and lost the extra weight. Last year I did the 21 Day Fix and I still follow the plan today, at least 80% of the time.

It’s getting warmer out, and a lot of moms out there don’t wear two piece bikinis because they feel like that’s not their right, as mothers we have sacrificed that “sexiness” and that perfect stomach. Who wants to look at that? Well, who cares! We have worked hard. There is no rule that says people have to look a certain way. Genetics made me the way I am, and I have stretch marks and saggy skin. I’m tired of hiding. I don’t own a two piece swimsuit yet…but this year may be different. Moms, ladies, care to join me in being proud of these marks? Doing more than posting quotes and meme’s on Pinterest, but showing the world true beauty comes in a million different forms. #afterbabybeauty

Mrs. Rainbows and butterflies has her moments too.

You all know her. The mom that’s always smiling. The friend who will drop it all to have coffee with you. The sister who is always telling you to look on the bright side. The workout buddy who is always pushing hard, and keeping you motivated. The wife who happily hands you breakfast in the morning, and hugs you when you get home from work. You all know her.

That women who is smiling, who has that perfect life. Two adorable kids, a rock solid marriage, a couple of crazy dogs, and the chickens that she swoons over. Make up free, t shirt wearing confident women. Yeah, she struggles too.

Those moments in the morning where she would rather bury her head under the pillow after what feels like close to seven years of sleepless nights. Her four year old daughter doesn’t sleep in her own bed most nights, and if she is lucky enough to escape her daughter climbing in bed with her and kicking her half the night, than her son will wake her up with that evil poking finger for some reason or another. It’s a struggle sometimes to hand her husband that coffee, without also feeling like he should be catering to her, for once. Some days are hard. Some days she feels like the maid, the chef, and the slave to the others in the house.

Yeah. Today was that day. I woke up a bit angry, on the wrong side edge of the bed because my daughter was kicking me. I woke up tired, once again. When will I get a break? Even on the days I get to “sleep in” I have to ask someone to let the dogs out, can they not hear them whining?! I have to wake up and feed them, because no one realizes it’s a daily task. Regardless, today was not a day of sleeping in. I woke up grumpy….but put a smile on my face and told myself that life is good and I need to fix this attitude. I made myself some eggs, and as I was about to enjoy them my husband finally woke up….I didn’t have to, but because I’m a nice wife I let my eggs get cold as I made him whatever he wanted. I handed him the second cup of coffee that I was in desperate need of. Of course, if I hadn’t he wouldn’t have said a word. I could have sat down and not offered, and he would have poured himself a bowl of cold cereal. But, that’s not me.

I love my life, and I truly feel blessed beyond belief for what I have. I know what I have, and thankful for it. But, I have my moments too. I try not to show them, and I try and be the typical happy go lucky, life is full of sunshine, kind of gal. But, sometimes you just have to be real. Sometimes you have to buckle down and get all that stuff out of your way so you can find that smile again.

It’s not the kids, or husband, or dogs. It’s me.

I’ve been having time management issues, doing 100 things at once and getting nothing done. I felt guilty and angry when I found out my husband didn’t have a clean shirt to wear today. What kind of wife am I?! I felt hurt and betrayed when he went to work early, even though he didn’t have to. I should be happy he’s such a great soldier. I feel like these feelings are coming from a different place, and being directed wrong. If my time management skills were better I wouldn’t feel like the weeks were flying by and I didn’t have time for homework, housework, mom and wife duties, and then not even being able to start my garden I so badly want and need to start. I don’t allow myself to enjoy those things until I’ve earned them….and if I didn’t wash my husband’s clothes enough this week I sure don’t deserve to mow the lawn or get my hands in the dirt.

Sometimes we have to step back and take responsibilities for our feelings, and really look in the mirror. I wasn’t angry at my husband today, I was angry at myself. I’ll do better next week…

“Success is simple. Do what’s right, the right way, at the right time.” ~Arnold H. Glasow

Sometimes I think of myself as simpleminded…not foolish, not sheltered, not someone who can’t think complexly…but someone who sees the world in right and wrong, someone who can’t seem to comprehend certain things, even if I know they exist.

Here are some examples:

When I have a job, I do it. My first job was working at Arby’s. I was barely 18, still in high school, taking college classes, and working at Arby’s. I didn’t like my job really, it was gross, all the grease, working with (and for) pot heads and stoners. But, I always showed up on time, sober, and did what I was supposed to do. I wore my hair up, wore the stupid visor and the nasty shirt without complaint. I did what I was supposed to do, and I was pretty much the only one who would work hard. I didn’t mind, because, that was my job. I knew it wouldn’t be amazing or pretty, I knew it was going to be a typical fast food job, but I said I would do it for the pay I was earning, so I did. Some people don’t take work seriously, “it’s just a job.” Just a job?! You gave your word that you would be there, that you would work, that you would show up and do your best. Some people show up, and half-ass their way through the job, not thinking that it matters. Me? I can’t. I try hard at everything. If I fail at something, it’s not because I didn’t try. I guess it’s just the way I am.

Honesty…telling the truth. I can’t help it, I’m not going to say I have never lied, I have. I think we all have…but I can tell you that I probably have not lied (at least on purpose) for a very long time. If I do lie, it’s probably to protect someone. The neighbor kids come to play, I say, “My kids can’t play, it’s time for naps.” Or something….I don’t say, “Due to liability and the fact you guys don’t listen to me, I don’t trust you, and I don’t want you in my home, my kids will not be playing with you. Oh yeah, and I don’t let my kids play in the street, I know, I’m kind of overbearing and mean huh?” But I don’t lie, normally. I don’t understand lying. People sneak around on spouses, they lie about where they spend their money, and they make up things to sound smart, or pretend they are a subject expert at something, why? I don’t understand. I have no problem making that face, (ya know, the half frown, raised eyebrow face?) and shrugging my shoulders to show people, “I have no idea!” I’m not afraid of my faults, of my lack of knowledge in certain areas. I know that if I wanted to, I could Google, YouTube, and even go to the library or call someone who was an expert to learn about it if need be. I guess I just don’t get it. If you are doing something you feel the need to lie about, why do it? If I don’t want someone to know something, I simply won’t bring it up. If confronted with a question about it, I would tell the truth, and explain my reasoning behind not disclosing that information beforehand.

 

Rules…ugh rules!! I’m a slave to rules. Due dates, I meet them if it means staying up crazy hours, working harder then I should, and suffering. Littering, you will NEVER catch me littering. Wet wipes, sucker sticks…I have shoved it all in my pockets and my Coach purse or carried it around in my hand until I found a garbage can. I cannot litter, and if I see someone litter, I normally mumble (too loudly) about how lazy people can be and do not stop my children who are just as appalled as I am to say things about how litter bugs kill trees. I will be turning 30 in March, and so far have never had a ticket, speeding, parking, or otherwise. I have sped, and will speed, but normally I try hard to obey all rules. I use my blinker in parking lots (thank you dad) and I can’t park all messed up. I drive a truck, and I will pull out and re-park until I think it is good enough. My kids and my friends are warned, “Do not take off your seatbelt until the engine is off!” And, sometimes even then I open the door and say, “Oh! Wait, I’m crooked!” Rules are important to me, I don’t know what made me the way I am, but I like to give credit to my parents.

 

I call myself simpleminded, I know what it means, and I know I am no fool. (Ask my husband, I remind him sometimes. Ha!) But, I see the world in a simple way, I know people are complex and confusing, but I don’t think like that. I am sure people have said things that could be taken wrong, and I know many times people think I’m being snide or rude, but very often I say exactly what I mean. Sometimes it can come off as mean or harsh, but if you truly know me, you know if I was trying to be rude I wouldn’t do it in a snide manner. Remember, I’m simpleminded, if I am mad at you, or angry, I will say so. Once again, ask my husband! I don’t get mad often, but sometimes I do and sometimes it’s over something like a misunderstanding. I’m lucky, my husband is a laid back, wonderful man, and if he has mistakenly done something or said something to hurt my feelings I tell him. I may wait until we are driving home, or the kids are in bed, but I ask him, “What did you mean by that?” Or, “It hurt my feelings when…” and I think that it saves us from a lot of fighting. Rather than carry around the hurt or anger I bring it up and we talk about it. 99% of the time there is a perfectly good explanation, I was mistaken, or his reasons make sense once I think about it and I am over it.

 

Maybe I am too black and white, simple and boring. I love white tee shirts, jeans and flip flops. I love black coffee and chickens. I am all about my family and to me vacation means coffee in my PJ’s without chores. It’s hard for me to sit still, I always feel like I need to be doing something. I always have chores to do. I am pretty sure I am the busiest and least productive person all at the same time. I think I may get that from my father as well…For example, today I dusted, swept, cleaned the living room and took care of the animals. I sorted papers and cleaned up outside. I even attempted to mow the lawn but then realized I was out of gas. I got a lot done, but I should have got a lot more done. I have been meaning to clean my room, I mean really clean it well, for weeks and still have not. I need to clean out my car, and have been avoiding it like it is some tough chore. But there is tomorrow, and I will tackle more chores. But before I start, I promised my daughter I would make her pancakes in the morning. I really do love my simple little life. I wouldn’t change it for anything.