I miss you so well…

My husband. Best friend. Lover. Soul mate. Better half…Matthew.

Our families love that we work together, smile for our happiness, and should start planning that big 50 year Reunion.

We work SO well, we respect each-other, and haters think it’s a facade. We don’t base our love or relationship off others, we don’t let their pain and their hate burn us.

Matt and I met in the Army, and went from friends to spouses. We had a crazy past but it never involved anger and hate, a bit of pain, but no hate. I loved him the moment I put two and two together. I had been in a few “serious” relationships, but they always seemed like work. When it hit me that we were pretty much perfect, and that this is what love was, I refused to let go. (Thanks to my mom’s advice I will never forget! “Either fight for what you want, or let go and walk away.”) Well, I’ll admit it, I’m a fighter.

I am happy, I feel like something hit me this year, something that slowly was making it’s way into my day to day life, but one day it was like a waterfall flowing over me….I’m so happy. I’m a positive, happy, bright sunshiny day kind of person. I became a morning person, black coffee and cuddles from kids. I find joy in almost everything, and see the happy side to so many things.

These last five months so many things have gone “wrong”. My truck needed brakes, my dog made me call a plumber, a pipe leaked all over (separate incident!), my kids had cavities, I am taking on a million tasks, I had to build a dog pen…and I know there is more. But, I conquered all with a smile on my face. Joked about getting a workout sweating my butt off digging post holes, tried hard to do everything on my own and sucked it up enough to ask for help if I needed it….

And oh yeah, this whole time my man has been deployed.

Guess what? I was, and am happy. This deployment just showed me, encouraged me, and challenged me to make the most of it. We still talk, we laugh, and we plan our future. We are both smiling, because we are still together, just a world away.

Nothing will get between us, not time, not distance, not life.

We are together.

We miss each-other so well.

My secret? Goals, (and a lovely respected marriage) Since he has been away we have both became healthier, I have shown I can do this, I can be his wife and be strong when he is gone. I don’t need him, I don’t depend on him, I don’t crumble when he is away. I thrive, I step up, and I love him more for being proud of me. He was thrilled when he ask, “how are you?” and without pause I said,

“I am happy! I miss you…but I am happy. I know it sounds terrible, but I am doing SO well.”

His response? “Me too, I’m glad!”

It was one of those moments, when you can really feel the love someone has for you. It was the first week he left, and the moment I knew for sure, “I got this, we’ll be great.”